During the Vietnam War, US Admiral James Stockdale and his men were captured and put into a prisoner of war camp. In these horrific conditions he noticed that the most positive men tended to be the ones who didn’t survive long. Strange, right? Surely the more positive you are the better you would do in terrible circumstances? What Admiral Stockdale found was that these soldiers tended to ignore the reality of the situation and ‘pretend’ it would all be OK. When it wasn’t OK, they lost hope quickly. The soldiers who did the best, and survived, were those who acknowledged how bad it really was, and accepted that this is where they found themselves. But then (and this is key) they believed they had the ability to change the future somehow for the better, and get through the tough time. As Admiral Stockdale said: "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

The men knew that communicating with each other was a critical behaviour. They may not be good at doing other things, but they must keep communicating. During difficult times on the golf course, you need to fully acknowledge and accept the struggle, but then know what to keep trying no matter what. Too often we can keep trying… but we keep trying all the wrong things, or the ones that don’t affect performance in any way.

Palm trees grow in areas affected by the most severe hurricanes and storms. Their flexibility allows them to bend, and not break, during high winds. But what prevents them from being ripped out the ground and flying off in the storm? Their root system.

So too, during struggles we need to be able to manage our emotions (the storm), but have something that roots us and guides our behaviour. This is where a ‘personal philosophy’ comes in handy.

Steve Jobs used to say, "Stay hungry. Stay foolish". It meant stay hungry for knowledge, but also, stay knowing you don’t know everything, be open to learning from others. Coach Pete Carroll of the NFL team, the Seattle Seahawks, was guided by "Always compete". For him this meant keep improving, keep striving for excellence, make mistakes and learn from them.Focus on competing, not just winning.

So what is your philosophy, or set of guiding principles, that will help guide your decisions and behaviour in the midst of a storm?

When you keep trying the right things, and make sure your decisions and behaviours are guided by your values and life philosophy, although the tough times are still tough, you can use them in a way that helps you be a better golfer and person.

Credits: Tyrone Winfield/Sunshine Tour. Right: Carl Fourie/Sunshine Tour

Dr Kirsten van Heerden is one of only a few people in South Africa to have represented her country as an athlete and hold a PhD in sport psychology. She has worked and travelled extensively within high performance sport for more than 15 years. She has published a book on the challenges athletes face when they retire from elite sport called Waking from the Dream and hosts her own podcast called ‘Behind the Dream’ where she talks with some of the world’s best athletes about the ups and downs of being a professional athlete. She is also the founder and chairperson of Girls Only Project – a non-profit company focusing on women in sport issues. She is in private practice at Newton Sports Agency.

Dr Kirsten van Heerden is one of only a few people in South Africa to have represented her country as an athlete and hold a PhD in sport psychology. She has worked and travelled extensively within high performance sport for more than 15 years. She has published a book on the challenges athletes face when they retire from elite sport called Waking from the Dream and hosts her own podcast called ‘Behind the Dream’ where she talks with some of the world’s best athletes about the ups and downs of being a professional athlete. She is also the founder and chairperson of Girls Only Project – a non-profit company focusing on women in sport issues. She is in private practice at Newton Sports Agency.