So much research shows that mentors have an exponentially positive effect on success in life. You are not meant to take on challenges alone. The feedback, wisdom and support offered by a mentor is invaluable. This is something we all know and have heard hundreds of time, but have you ever thought about how to pick a mentor? Hear are some great tips (taken from Daniel Coyle’s book The Little Book of Talent: 52 Tips for Improving Your Skills):

a) Avoid someone who reminds you of a courteous waiter: You are not looking for someone to make you comfortable, you need someone to help you grow, and sometimes that requires making you uncomfortable.

b) Seek someone who scares you a little: Find someone who you know observes everything, is not afraid of saying it as it is and who demands action from you.

c) Seek someone who gives short, clear directions: Often it is just a short sentence that can have a profound impact – you don’t need someone who gives long speeches. The person needs to distil information down and deliver it with impact.

d) Seek someone who loves teaching fundamentals: A great mentor loves the foundations of golf and life, and understands that although they may not be the most flashy parts, they are key to success.

e) Other things being equal, pick the older person: You really can’t buy experience.

Much research around grit and resilience have shown that people display those traits when they are doing something that has meaning and purpose to them.

Dan Ariely, a world-renowned behavioural economist, conducted a fascinating study showing how meaninglessness affects us. He had two groups of people build robots out of Lego pieces – for each robot they built they would get $1, then the next $0.95, then $0.90 and so on until they decided to stop. The only difference between the two groups was that when they finished a robot, the one group had it dismantled in front of them and they could then use those pieces to build the next robot. The second group had their robots taken away and were given new Legos to use to build their next robot.

Which group built the most robots?

The second group. Why was this? Well, they found the task more ‘meaningful’ than the first group. Imagine building something, having your work destroyed in front of you, and then building again and having it destroyed again. People really battled with that – it seemed meaningless (even though the money was the same as group two!). At least the second group knew there were more and more robots accumulating so the task seemed more meaningful, and they persevered longer.

Meaning, even a small amount matters. I am not here to tell you what that meaning should be; every one of you would be unique, but you need to be very clear what it is. Sometimes it is about money. Many golfers want to turn pro because they can earn money, and they find what they can do with that money very meaningful. Maybe they can look after family, give people they love experiences, or maybe help others in need. Others find the process of improvement very meaningful, others find it in being able to meet people from around the world and form friendships.

The point is, when you take on a challenge, you really need to hold tight to what you find meaningful about it.

The most successful people in the world are lifelong learners. As you take on a new challenge know that you have much to learn, and that’s OK! You don’t have to know it all now. Trust that you will learn along the way (with help) and that as you do, you will navigate your way through the next year.