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MIND & BODY

EMBRACING THE PURSUIT

Dr Kirsten van Heerden takes a closer look at success vs mastery​​​​​​​ 

Have you ever been so close to your golfing goal that you could almost taste it – just one putt shy of your best score, or a single stroke away from the elusive birdie – but fell short? These moments can be extremely frustrating, even heartbreaking. But what if those “near misses” were actually a gift in disguise?


Behavioural economists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky explored the “near miss” phenomenon, discovering that being close to a goal but missing it, can feel worse than missing it by a mile. For instance, missing a flight by five minutes is more upsetting than missing it by half an hour. Similarly, silver medallists often feel more frustrated than bronze medallists because they were so close to gold. It’s that bittersweet sting of “so near, yet so far”.


But what if we reframed these near misses as “near wins”?

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LISTEN TO…

Dr Kirsten van Heerden chats to former professional basketball player, Malcolm Lemmons, about his struggles as a player as he transitioned out of basketball, and the journey he has been on to find a new identity and purpose in life.

NEAR WINS: A POWERFUL MOTIVATOR

Near wins are more than disappointments – they’re powerful motivators. By almost reaching a goal, you glimpse at the possibility of achieving it. This proximity can inspire greater effort, sharper focus and renewed determination. As Sarah Lewis writes in TheRise: “Success motivates... yet the near win can propel us in an ongoing quest.”*


In golf, a near win might look like sinking a tough putt on the 17th hole but falling short on the 18th. That moment of almost achieving your best score reminds you that success is within reach. It shifts your focus to the steps required to close the gap: more consistent drives, sharper short-game skills, or better course management.


Far from discouraging us, near wins make our goals tangible, showing us that with just a bit more practice or precision, we can achieve what we set out to do (FYI, silver medallists are more likely to win gold the next time than bronze medallists are).

MASTERY vs SUCCESS: THE JOY OF THE PROCESS

Near wins also highlight the difference between success and mastery. Success is an event-based moment in time, tied to a specific achievement – like breaking 80 or winning a local tournament. Mastery, on the other hand, is about an ongoing pursuit: the love of perfecting your swing, improving your putting stroke and refining your mental game.


This distinction matters because while success offers a fleeting high, mastery provides lasting fulfilment. Think about a time you achieved a major golfing milestone. The excitement and pride were real, but how long did the high last? Likely not as long as the sense of purpose and satisfaction you felt during the journey to get there.


Brandon Slay won the wrestling gold medal at the Rio Olympic Games, but quite soon after reflected on this win and how fleeting that moment of joy was: “You’ll take pictures, shake hands, celebrate… but soon, the streets will empty, and you’ll be left with a medal and a question: That’s it?”**


For Slay, the answer lay in rediscovering his love for the process of wrestling – the daily improvements, the grind of training and the joy of learning. In golf, this is the same mindset that transforms a frustrating round into a learning experience and a near win into a stepping stone.


The joy of “doing”

Golf, at its core, is a game of mastery. Each round, each shot and each near win offers an opportunity to grow. The joy lies not in the perfect scorecard but in the pursuit: the exhilaration of hitting a pure iron shot, the satisfaction of reading a tricky green and the quiet thrill of walking the course, knowing you're working towards something bigger.


As Shakespeare wrote: Things won are done. Joy’s soul lies in the doing.


The next time you come close to your goal but fall short, resist the urge to dwell on the disappointment. Instead, see it as a glimpse into what’s possible – a spark to fuel your passion and guide your next steps. Embrace the process, the practice and the pursuit. After all, in golf, as in life, the journey is where the real joy lies.


DID YOU KNOW?

GolfRSA has partnered with The R&A for a year-long journey looking at the benefits of golf, with a highlighted theme each month. December’s #HealthyHabit is Golf is Good say Psychologists.


Explore the benefits of golf and why you should choose this sport as your #HealthyHabit for life. Research has shown that golf improves many physical and mental aspects including muscular strength, power, endurance and confidence. Golfers also benefit from green space and social interaction.


Join The Golf Mag and GolfRSA on social media and share how golf has been good for your health.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr Kirsten van Heerden is one of only a few people in South Africa to have represented her country as an athlete and hold a PhD in sport psychology. She has worked and travelled extensively within high performance sport for more than 15 years. She has published a book on the challenges athletes face when they retire from elite sport called Waking from the Dream and hosts her own podcast called ‘Behind the Dream’ where she talks with some of the world’s best athletes about the ups and downs of being a professional athlete. She is also the founder and chairperson of Girls Only Project – a non-profit company focusing on women in sport issues. She is in private practice at Newton Sports Agency.

@drkirstenvanheerden

www.newtonagency.co.za

@kirstvanh

Behind the Dream

IMAGES: TYRONE WINFIELD/CARL FOURIE/SUNSHINE TOUR

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